Describing itself as "a seven-piece band that swings like a trailer in a tornado... ballsy and melodic at the same time", the band's live show "...has [allegedly] been compared to a fine martini." Trailers, melodic testicles, and martinis mixed together: classy, yes? Just try and listen to "Armed and Swingin," their new CD! Songs such as "Old Letters" (a couple of trumpeters rehearsing scales, or so it seems) and the "Downtown Damnation Theme Song" (a trio of drunken frogs?), sink before the first chorus. Of course, there is merchandise on the website: t-shirts and CDs, instantly obsolete. Last and least, our trailer trash-rocking bands signed to Slimstyle (better known as "Slimestyle") Records, known mainly for plopping fedoras onto the heads of starving Ska bands and calling them "Swing".

I thought "Big Tubba Mistah" was pretty bad...and it is. But one must be fair: "Hipster Daddy-O & the Hand Grenades" is worse. Much worse. And that's why it gets my vote for "The Most Instantly Forgettable 'New Swing' Band of 1999." Check out their terrible website, complete with audio. If you agree with me, expose them on YOUR site!